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Page 1 of 2 God bless all the rosy relationships between muscle-flexing Mars and shying-shimmering Venus. But before you think it's safe enough to spill all the beans you have - think again, because you might have just taken it too far, buddy. There are some things which are simply unacceptable to the opposite gender.
So before you can handle the dire repercussions after you take that plunge, it's time to wizen up and realise that there exist things that you should never ever tell the opposite sex - EVER.
He Says:
“The secret thoughts of a man run over all things, holy, profane, clean, obscene, grave, and light, without shame or blame.” - Thomas Hobbes
It isn’t like we purposefully hide dirty, unhealthy secrets in the deepest, darkest corner of our closets. It’s just that we don’t think everything is worth discussing. It isn’t necessary to discuss every intricacy of one's life and thoughts with the opposite sex, is it?
Sometimes, to avoid trouble (and lies), we'll just do the guy thing and not talk about it at all. When we do that, we wish you would quit probing.
The Ex:
I love you now and that’s what is most important. How does it matter who my ex girlfriend/s were and what I did with them? It’s extremely irreverent and insecure of you to question (oops, not talking about you, honey).
And no, I don’t have the collection of their pictures and gifts for any other reason but to conserve resources. There are people in this world who don’t get ‘Hug Me’ teddy bears, so if I get one, why should I throw it away? Don't even talk about the Armani Exchange jacket.
Bottomline: Never admit that you are still secretly in love with your ex(es), unless you want to break up with your current girlfriend.
The O between U and I:
She looks good. She obviously has worked very hard on herself to look like this and is not naturally beautiful like you. Yes, she is attractive in the sense of the word but I don’t think she is beautiful. I was just looking, not ogling. In fact, I was looking at her bracelet, since you know that someone special (hinting you) has her birthday round the corner.
Bottomline: Never admit that you're ogling at other women whilst you're out with your girlfriend, or you'd have to deal with extreme paranoia.
No-no to Directions:
Don’t worry, we are just a little late for the party (after all, Einstein said, “What is time?”). I know the way. Of course, we will reach our destination. Stop trying to see the map. I know where we are going. Yes, we can listen to the GPS (Global Positioning System) but don't you trust me? Let me handle all your problems. My problems? Oh, never you mind.
Bottomline: Never admit defeat, or you'd be seen as useless and incompetent.
The Shades of Blue:
I have no collection or intention of having such obscene material in my room/apartment. The stack that you found was a buddy’s. Yeah, I have talked to him about mending his ways. He scribbled my name on top - I don’t know why. Maybe his girlfriend was as suspicious as you. No! You don’t have to compete with the playboy girl on page 21 of the October Issue every time you are with me.
Bottomline: Never admit to the possession of indecent products, or risk losing the image of an immaculate boyfriend, and having your girl put up her guard against you.
The Means and Modes:
You mean your best friend told you I harassed her into giving me your number? Well, I did casually ask her for your number with regards to the assignment submission in week 6. And if you saw me sitting diagonally above you in the LT, it’s only because I am a late-comer - all the other seats were taken. Every week? Yeah, I was late every week.
Bottomline: Never admit to liking her till you see signs of reciprocal, or you'd risk scaring her off.
The F-word:
You call that flirting? Well, I call that socialising. Fine, so she does look better than I remembered, but you are just getting wound up on nothing at all. So what if she is my ex? You should be mature enough to see how harmless the so-called flirting was.
Bottomline: Even if you did plan to get to know her better, you should know better than to tell your girlfriend!
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