H O O K E D - How Low Would You Go?

How Low Would You Go?

Written by Joanne Lim

Assuming you have found it, most of us would like to eventually marry for Love. The thing is, can Love really conquer everything (I sense the cliché in this)?

All things being equal, would girls be able to trade dating up for dating down, or would guys be able to handle a relationship with overachieving women? We often wonder if romance can bridge the class divide in the modern society, so why not let HOOKED find out for you?

He(s) say…

        Too often, women rant and ask the same question: “Where are all the good men?”

        Then they are too quick to conclude, “All the good men are either taken or gay.” For all assumptions like these, made to comfort women for all things that they cannot get, it might be of consolation to know that it is not very different for the men too.

        For the most part, a lot of us still think that 95% of men want the same 5% of women who happen to either have the looks or the brains or even better still, both.

        However, you might be surprised to learn that looks might just be overrated in our time.

        The modern men may be looking beyond superficial traits to assess their dates, and this is definitely not a fabricated truth! For most men, true beauty lasts forever, only when you are able to look at the girl and find more reasons to love her as an entire person, rather than just the packaging alone.

        Something deeper for our men to ponder about would be that of status. In every sense of the word “Achieve”, would a man date a more achieved woman with a higher academic standing, a woman more powerful economically?

        Unlike many of our older folks who still feel that men should be the sole breadwinners of the family, while women should stay at home to perform the menial work; the liberating truth is that, a lot of our modern men certainly do not feel pressured into this notion anymore.

        Dating up with a woman who is more powerful economically makes men feel secured for at least they know that the woman is not in love with what is in their wallets, but instead, loves the person he is.

In this respect, men certainly do not feel like it is damaging to them to ‘date up’ since by doing so, they can be rest assured that the much talked about materialistic image of most women is not here to stay.

        On academic intelligence, many guys feel that excelling academically does not equate to the whole sum of intelligence, which is essentially more than the ‘A’s in our transcript.

        For them to have a girlfriend who is all brains, yet willing to date him despite not scoring as well himself, is very attractive.

        Ultimately, men feel that they want to date respectable women. So if respectable means to date someone with better paper qualifications, they do not see a rationale to avoid such women.

        After all, to be able to date a woman of such caliber, would mean that he himself has first class qualities, beyond his paper qualifications, to be able to win the girl over.

        Of course, there are guys on the other end of the continuum, those who still feel strongly against ‘dating up’.

        Men in this category feel that if the extent of income disparity is too wide, these girls might just have a lifestyle revolving around more than just the glitter and glam of Pradas and Gucci. These lifestyle expectations might be hard to meet for the guy who would feel a need to provide for her in some ways, and somehow it feels like it might never be enough.

        This is not to say that this group of guys would never ‘date up’. Rather, they feel that if they have a choice, this would be a path less likely taken by them. As banal as it may sound, these guys do not derive the ‘feel good’ factor in dating a woman who outshines them.

She(s) say...

        There are amongst us, chicks that dig this whole affair of dating someone of a different social standing and many opined that quite honestly, it seems to be working wonders.

        Because really, where is the novelty in dating someone who is economically stable and is just about the nicest guy around? He is just like any of your potential suitor, who eventually wants a piece of you. Something different is attractive.

        I’m not saying that we dig people who do not work during the day but sells drugs for a living, nor someone who is a philopornist, of course.

        He may not be all Cash, Credit Cards or Condominiums, even belonging to a different class for that matter. Yet, the women of today are not self-obsessed people motivated by money alone, because we are able to stand on our own feet to fend for ourselves financially.

        Neither should women be choosing to marry up on the basis of paper qualifications. Many contemporary women voiced out that they would rather choose someone who is exceedingly more compatible in action than on paper.

        It will be our loss if we choose to remain in the conventional ways of assessing a potential other half. Gone are the days that couples were match-made, based on the certain specified qualities that are for the most part, desired by their parents in the name of practicality, or so they think.

        Indeed, it is an abhorrent idea to be dating someone because of his financial stability. But no one is saying that we date or marry someone for his wealth. Money is just a more important factor, which makes money an indirect factor for selecting a potential significant other.

        Many qualities of a good boyfriend are beyond the number of zeros, behind the numerical figures in his bank account. Qualities of a good boyfriend are also qualities of a person who is able to make a living decently, earn money the way it should be done, ideally.

        The dichotomy between practicality and love is sadly, depending on how you look at it, still relevant to the world today.

        Women who are not for the idea of ‘dating down,’ cannot help but cringe at the one liner of ‘Status is not everything’. For them, they would rather remain single than shortchange themselves of a seemingly better life they think they would lead by being with someone of a comparable status.

        It is understandable why these women have in them such strong beliefs.

        A man with resources, a good education, a good career and rolling in the dough for the family is certainly easier to fall in love with amongst all others. Call it a marriage of practicality rather than love but for them, it is more affirmative anyway.

        Some women simply hold such affirmations with high regard and it is mostly manifested in a man more achieved than them. hooked

Images courtesy of Google Images

Comments
Written by Guest on 2008-03-31 10:06:55
yeah i kinda agree... there's some truth in these!
Written by Guest on 2008-03-31 10:36:12
Quite true indeed :eek
True...
Written by Guest on 2008-03-31 22:04:15

what about grammar?
Written by Guest on 2008-03-31 22:56:47
The last sentence of this article is truly bizarre; 'a man more achieved than them'? Please! Are HOOKED writers able to achieve coherent sentences?
Written by Guest on 2008-04-01 11:52:50
Love is a luxury until the practicalities of life have been met, until you are sure that your sstandard of living is decent.

I don't think two people can still love each other in the long term if all they do is worry about expenses, or wonder if their other half loves only their wallets.
Written by Guest on 2008-04-01 13:24:24
"He may not be all Cash, Credit Cards or Condominiums, even belonging to a different class for that matter. Yet, the women of today are not self-obsessed people motivated by money alone, because we are able to stand on our own feet to fend for ourselves financially."

i totally AGREE.
Written by Guest on 2008-04-02 11:55:45
while the minute differences can be ignored, like a slight difference in pay, difference in graduating cap or even honors class etc. But a huge disparity in education and perceive financial status is still a 'taboo' in society. Imagine a hawker with a lawyer wife... love can be in the air; but the constant verbal bashing of 'eating soft rice' (uselessly relying on his wife) can be ego bruising and depressing to hear. i wonder then how long would a marriage like that last?

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